


Fed Up With the World

by Evie_adams273



Series: A Thousand Different Delphis [2]
Category: Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Funny, Gen, M/M, Not to be taken seriously, Please Don't Take This Seriously, Sass, delphi gets very fed up, especially 2.14, funnier than intended, i don't know what this is, just kiss, the boys need to kiss, this was the undertone i got from a show
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-12
Updated: 2019-11-12
Packaged: 2021-01-29 15:50:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21412717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evie_adams273/pseuds/Evie_adams273
Summary: Delphi has kidnapped Albus and Scorpius, but before she can continue with her objective, she feels the need to have a little talk with them both.-Inspired by Madeleine Walker's Delphi, especially in the Scorpius & Delphi staircase scene.
Relationships: Delphi & Albus Severus Potter, Delphi & Scorpius Malfoy, Delphi & Scorpius Malfoy & Albus Severus Potter, Scorpius Malfoy/Albus Severus Potter
Series: A Thousand Different Delphis [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1542787
Comments: 3
Kudos: 29





	Fed Up With the World

**Author's Note:**

> This is not meant to be taken seriously. This is just me blowing off some steam. Please don't hold me to this.

“Sit down, Scorpius,” Delphi smiled at him, before gesturing to the chair she had put out. “Come on, I haven’t got all day.”

“Where’s Albus?” Scorpius asked. “What have you done?”

“Albus is fine,” Delphi murmured. “I haven’t hurt him, so sit down.”

“What do you want with us?”

“Getting bored now. Do you have to keep asking these questions?”

“What do you want?”

Delphi put down her quill, sighing as she screwed the ink bottle closed. Ever since she had actually spoken to these children, she had hated them both. Because they were incredibly childish, and also because both of them seemed completely oblivious to one another’s emotions.

She genuinely couldn’t understand how someone could be that useless. It had seemed entirely obvious to her, since she had met them, that they were in love with each other, yet neither of them seemed to have clocked. And she could no longer stand watching them flounder around one another.

“Sit down,” she said again.

“Why?”

“Because I’m telling you to. Honestly Scorpius, I’m trying to help you.”

“Help – help?” Scorpius stared at her. “You’ve kidnapped us. You won’t let me see him–”

“I never said I wouldn’t let you see him. In fact, you can see him very soon. I just want to have this conversation first.”

“Why does it seem like this won’t really be a very balanced conversation?”

“You know something? If this entire objective didn’t involve the two of you communicating, you would be dangerously close to losing the right to see him.”

Scorpius didn’t respond, and Delphi stood up, walking towards him. He shrunk back a little as she placed a hand on his shoulder and pushed him into the chair, for good measure clicking her fingers and watching a rope secure one of his wrists to the chair.

“Just a little safety precaution,” she smiled sweetly, “so that you actually listen to me.”

Scorpius, mercifully, remained quiet this time, and she went to the cupboard at the edge of the room, opening it and pulling out a stack of letters. She attempted to keep herself vaguely calm while doing it, because reading these letters irritated her enormously.

She sat down against, untying the string and spreading the various envelopes out over the desk.

“Right,” she smiled at Scorpius. “Shall we?”

“What are those?” Scorpius looked at them nervously. “What have you done?”

“Those are two incredibly different questions,” Delphi grinned at him, “so I’ll ignore the second. These – these are the letters that Albus sent me when the two of you were kept

separate.”

“You kept them?”

“Of course I kept them. Emotional blackmail always has to be an option. But also, because they make me incredibly angry and I can use that fuel sometimes.”

Scorpius didn’t reply as she reached for the first one and opened it, skimming the first few lines instinctually.

“Dear Delphi,” she read, attempting to be calm. “I’m sorry that I’m writing to you when we haven’t talked like this before, but I can’t come and find you and I really, really need your help. Dad has said I can’t see Scorpius, and I don’t know what to do. He says that if I go near Scorpius, or if I leave the castle, he put a charm on me that means he can hear and see everything. I can’t go near Scorpius, and Scorpius has no idea what’s going on.”

“I don’t understand,” Scorpius said. “He missed me. I know that. We talked about it. Why does it matter now?”

Delphi rolled her eyes, putting down the letter and picking up another, later one. She opened this one, glanced pointedly at Scorpius, and then started to read, this time from halfway down.

“He’s the most important person in my life. I haven’t talked to him for a week now, and I can’t stop crying. No one else really seems to care that much – Lily and James have asked about it – but I just run off. I don’t know what else to do. I can’t exactly say that I’m being threatened to stay away from the most important person in my life by my _dad_.”

Scorpius still looked entirely blank and Delphi rolled her eyes for what felt like the umpteenth time.

“Honestly,” she groaned, “the two of you are so oblivious it’s a wonder someone hasn’t said this sooner.”

“Said what sooner?”

“Fuck me, you still don’t know?”

She sighed exasperatedly and curled her hand into a fist, trying to mediate her anger. Children were stupid. Children were so desperately stupid.

“I hope you know,” she snarled, moving closer to him, “how pathetically stupid you are.”

“What are you so obsessed with?”

“He’s pining for you!” Delphi screeched. “He has fallen in love with you and he is pining. How can you not see that?”

“He’s…”

“He’s pining. I did try telling you. And I cannot stand this. I can’t do what I need to do if the two of you can’t get over yourselves and kiss.”

“What do you _need_ to do?”

“Not have my head done in by you two idiots,” Delphi muttered. “You know what? Just – just stay here.”

She stood up, snapping her fingers so that another rope secured itself around Scorpius’ chest and forced him to stay in his seat. She grinned at him once more, before leaving the room and walking down the corridor to where she had locked Albus.

She could hear thumping coming from inside, and she laughed. Albus never had known when to stop. He would probably end up destroying himself if she didn’t step in. She wanted him to. But she needed him.

She unlocked the door, pushing it open and grinning at him as he fell back. His hands were bruised and, in places, bloody, and she sighed.

“You’re going to hurt yourself if you keep doing that,” she murmured.

“What do you want? Where’s Scorpius?”

“You know something? He asked almost exactly the same thing. Strange pair that you are.”

“If you’ve hurt him–”

“Shut up,” Delphi snapped, “and come with me.”

She waited for Albus to approach her, watching the decisions crossing his face. When he was close enough, she grabbed his sleeve and pulled him out, her patience starting to wane incredibly thin.

Mercifully, Albus remained silent, only expressing any sound at all when she took him into the room where Scorpius was waiting, still tied to the chair. When he laid his eyes on Albus, he started to fight against the rope, and Delphi almost found herself laughing at the futility of it.

She pushed Albus towards the chair she had been sitting in, fastening his wrist to it so that he couldn’t stand up. She smirked at him as she walked around him, standing between him and the desk so that he couldn’t see the letters.

“Scorpius,” she smiled at him. “Do you want to tell Albus what we were discussing?”

“Does that count as a discussion?”

“Don’t try and be smart, Malfoy. I haven’t got time for that.”

Scorpius didn’t say anything and Delphi rolled her eyes again. Even now, when she had quite literally spelled it out for them, they couldn’t just communicate.

“Albus,” she said, placing a hand on his shoulder. “I’ve just made Scorpius, here, aware of your feelings.”

“I – I – I don’t…”

“Of course you do. And you are the gayest child I think I’ve ever met. Granted, I haven’t met many children, but you are still the gayest.”

“She said you’re in love with me,” Scorpius whispered. “I – I didn’t think – I don’t…”

“You know what?” Delphi interrupted, releasing both of their ropes. “I can’t even stand this; get up.”

They obeyed her, and she rolled her eyes as they naturally gravitated towards one another. She led them back out into the corridor and pushed them into the room Albus had been in.

“Sort – this – out by the time I come back,” she snapped. “Because I cannot do another minute of you two pining for each other.”

And, with that, she shut the door.

**Author's Note:**

> Well...Delphi: Shipping Scorbus Since 2017  
And probably before  
fuck...  
Thanks for reading (if you did)  
Kudos and comments appreciated  
Twitter: @evieadams273
> 
> -
> 
> Genuinely though, i know how fucked up this is and this is, in no way, something I support


End file.
